Tuesday, May 27, 2008

SO CLOSE YET SO FAR........


DISCLAIMER:Resemblance to anyone alive or dead is purely co-incidental and neither is it my story its purely fictional and no offences to anyone..light on the viens...:)


We were not only born to succeed but we were born to rule. There was more than that psycho hair cut which hitler and I shared and that was our love to rule the world. From the initial days itself I always believed that this world was only created to be ruled by two most powerful people-Adolf Hitler(guruji) and me…. And true to my conscience I was following it-over powering the kids of my age in my apartments and neither did I spare the doggies.


Years passed by but my fascination with hitler and his thinkings didn’t fade out. I was almost up there, impersonating my guru in every way except for that chaplin moustache which wasn’t sprouting out yet. It was in my tenth standard that it was time for me to take the charge. The school head boy post was up for the grabs and there wouldn’t be a better opportunity for me to prove that ankit ”hitler” rao was ready for the world. Without giving any second thoughts I threw my candidature at the office clerk with a supercilious smile.


I was quite a popular face among the school crowd and so was I among the teachers and people felt I had what it takes to lead the school. So I knew that the head boy post was already in my pocket.


That night I dreamt of my journey from a school head boy->student president->youth congress leader->M.L.A->M.P->PRIME MINISTER. In a matter of one night I felt like I made it to the top and guruji would surely be proud of his successor….


As far as I saw, I did all the right things. Started wearing ironed school dress, polished shoes which were as shiny as my competition’s teeth. I went around canvassing for votes, gave a mugged up speech without missing a word or the tempo, I even maintained a whole bunch of supporters with me and fed them daily with my hard earned pocket money.
I was a nice lad, studied pretty well, took active part in sports(at least pretended to do so),was the CR of my class, always sat on the front bench and was soothing for the eyes to look at. What else do you want to qualify for the post of a Head Boy?

My campaign seemed to be a hit with all those “student-friendly” promises I made. I guess it was on the third day of my campaign that i met a +2 gurl whom I fell in love the next nanosecond I layed my eyes on her. And the dream of appointing her as my secretary came running into my mind faster than marion jones .The “advantages” of being a school head boy were also too hard to resist especially when you would labeled as “The Irresistible “ . On the other side my competition was trying every possible trick to woo the students and all I saw was he could only manage the 5th graders with his lolly pop promises. “Head boy” was the only term running through my mind the whole month, it was barack obama versus hillary rodham Clinton kinda thing. Everything seemed to be going my way and my dream was near fulfillment.


The D-DAY was here and I was dressed in the best 2-piece suit my laundrywaala could arrange at a very short notice. I even came prepared with my winning speech whom to thank and whom not to, everything was set. I was to be coroneted today and I was cool as cucumber knowing that today was my day and no one not even god could snatch it from me. The votes were given and the counting was done the “HEAD BOY 2008-09” was declared by my principle -RAGHU IT WAS!!!!!! WHAT…………I was broken into bits and I could see the world shattering in front of my very own eyes. I wanted to dig a mile deep into the earth and stuff my face there. How could ……why did…….who did…….all sort of questions were running through my mind. And to add fuel to the fire was margin with which I lost 467-26 that was the biggest margin in my school’s history. And worse was yet to come…….the +2 gurl whom I was smitten by choose to vote for him and she agreed to become his SECRETARY also. I ran away as fast as I could daring not to make an eye contact with anyone. Locked myself in my room for a whole day and thought hitler must have also faced hardships and this is not the end I have +1 & +2 I will show who I was then………


It is said that wise men learn from their mistakes. Wiser men learn from others. Nobody had told me that. So I didn’t do either and instead, for the next two consecutive years, stood in school elections and became a good example -”FAILURES SHOULDN’T DETER YOU”

Friday, May 23, 2008

ARE WE PROUD TO BE INDIANS??? I DONT THINK SO......









*Do we deserve to be living in a country which has a rich past?


*Do we deserve to be living in a country which has” WORLD’S LARGEST DEMOCRACY" tag?



*Do we deserve to be living in a country which was among the wealthiest countries?



*Do we deserve to be living in a country which was ruled by the greats of akbar,shah jahan?


*Do we deserve to be living in a country which treats every religion equally and respects each religion?


-the answer is a big fat "NO"....


Before you guys ponder over for an answer as to why dont we deserve to be living in a country of this stature, I will tell u why.....


# we tend to take everything for granted.


# we only believe in minting hardcore money, to hell with what’s happening with our country.


# "swaraj is my birth right n i shall have it" is passé, now it is more like” abusing my country isbirth right n i shall have it".


# why is our country under "still developing" bar.


And i know what your answer is "ah,it is 'coz of dose politicians...blah....blah...blah".bull shit!!!!!! i will tell you the answer” its 'coz of us who call ourselves
"'TRUE INDIANS"" and start spitting on the roads.....And then there are those few selected ones who bother to stand up for 32 seconds when your national anthem is being played and then think that you hav done everything for your country....but in reality dude you done nothing you stood up 'coz you had too not 'coz u wanted too..why do we select those people to rule the country who are more interested in knowing how many BMW'S he owns rather than knowing what the country is going through.......





INDIA has been cheated, made fun of...and now we have had enough and so has our country, its time that we strike back and for that to happen a change is desperately needed and before you think"""ah,it is gonna happen n sumbdy is gonna do it....its none of my business""" lemme tell the change is only possible if u r part of that change...Its time that we start thinking smart rather working like a bull not knowing what is it working for-'"THINK SMART"" is mantra for success..






-We boast that we churn out god knows how many lac engineers every year. And how come 75% of them vanish da next day itself....- THEY ARE OFF TO DO THEIR MS IN THE US OF "A"-CHANGE IT!



-Why is that other countries are concentrating on alternate sources of energy and we are still thinking "we dont need that"-CHANGE IT!


-Why is that we like peeing on the roads, when you have public toilets all around you-
CHANGE IT!


-Even though we say
"WOMEN HAVE REACHED THE TOP" why is that we hear all insane stuff happening against them-CHANGE IT!



-Why is that we are not tapping industries such as tourism to its full potential which could fetch us millions of $-
CHANGE IT!


-Why is that in our country a "bartender" is called a "waiter" and a "chef" is called a "cook",DIGNITY OF LABOUR-CHANGE IT!


-Why is that in our country half of the people don’t turn up to cast their vote and later start crying hoarse "politicians ar corrupt"-
CHANGE IT!


-Those good old days of "ahimsa-non violence" are gone. Now if neone tries messing up with us strike back so hard that dare they not to even think of us-
CHANGE IT!


-Why is that in our country mafia dons like arun gawli can become an MLA???-CHANGE IT!


-This is
"SCIENCE AGE" when other countries are following modern technologies why are we shying away from them and still use age old practices-CHANGE IT!


-We are a nation of a billion and we have heard that a tymes zillion times, why dont we do something about that..we have man power use it to the full potenial-
CHANGE IT!


-Why arent we using our natural resources wisely,we have loads of them when compared to other countries-
CHANGE IT!



It is belived that for a country to change a generation has 2 be sacrificed-why cant that generation be ours.......how long???? how long do you do you wanna live in a DEVELOPING COUNTRY..atleast why cant we make it better for the coming generations unlike us they can live in a DEVELOPED INDIA..


We always see countries like USA,UK,SINGAPORE,NZ and think "why cant be country be so good" and thats because "we are not as good as the people living in that country".....its the people living in the country who make the country...so if we dont think of changing nobdy in this world can change our country and our grand-grand children will also learn that INDIA IS STILL A DEVELOPING COUNTRY..


I still cant understand one thing even after thinking about it all night-when i being an 18yr old could understand and sense that my country is being toyed with and being ill-treated to lowest possible amplitudes then why cant you people get this sour fact into you....



When ever you say"" i am proud of my country""' we gotto be ASHAMED into every bit and seriously we dont deserve to be saying """i am proud of my country"""......seriously be ashamed when ever you say that and i am very much sure that if our country could talk all it would say was""i have failed and i have failed miserably in upbringing my children"".The fact is she didnt fail we made her fail.....




ASK NOT WHAT HAS THE COUNTRY GIVEN YOU,ASK YOURSELF WHAT HAVE YOU GIVEN TO THE COUNTRY -NOTHING.


Thursday, May 22, 2008

CASANOVA KID


It was that time of the day when I just loaded my stomach 2 the maximum limit and that poor thing was on the verge of blasting up to create a miniature tsunami in mah body.The only which could satisfy me now was-SLEEP….but goody god has sumthing against me and den off he sends his brainless barbies charging at me like the deccan chargers bull....n...boom!!! out opened my door sending a shiver up spine and out came a bunch of gurls running towards me faster than a formula1 car.......

{{{{ lemme tell u abt dese brainless barbies, dese gurls love me 2 da core and can do nething 2 grab mah attention........i normally do love der affection which is normaly shown with truck loads of kisses covering mah face with 735gms of strawberry flavoured lipstick.....n if u doubt how I knew the flavour…heehee…cud resist tasting it bud!!! In short they are insane n psychotic}}}}}

Neways now baq 2 our story..........


…….But 2day i wasnt in2 der affection coz i was only and only thinking of njoying a good nap...but in a macro second i found myself covered under a blanket of dis brainless bunch.....i was cursing dem in evry possible language i cud, but da last thing on the earth dey wer thinkin abt was-MY SLEEP....dey din care abt wht i thot...alll dey knew was 2 stick up der lips on 2 mah face so hard dat dey cud almost suck my brains out.......as said “life is living by the moment” i slowly started 2 enjoy the shower of kisses n attention grabbing talk and by now my sleep was some 342 nautical miles away........n dese many chicks 2 choose from made look like a kid lost in a candy store.....

VITAMIN-J.This vitamin was only discovered in the female race and it was found in abundance………according to the studies it was found that the secretion of this vitamin would increase drastically in presence of a competitor……but surprisingly it never happened in my case even though each gurl had around 14 or so competitors..n evenings would pass off without any of those world famous girly fights.Instead,they were njoying me like chicken lollipops which my frnd susaank hogs on with no mercy J……by da way in any case you cudnt figure out wht VITAMIN-J is….den lemme tell u it is VITAMIN-JEALOUSY….



Wht can I say now infact what da hell can anyone say when he is at the receiving end of this Barbie love………all one could was laugh at his luck and so was i………

the best part abt these chicks are they are always sweet 2 and make me da center of attraction which dey normally tend to keep it 2 themselves...nd der boyfrnds don’t mind me flirting with der gurls ......
it was like I had this V.I.P pass hanging around my neck which would allow me 2 kiss em netym n dey would ask for more always…….which would make me feel like emraan hashmi ……
dude hashmi”check me out this Is u r potential competitor,mann” for a second I thought,that “serial kisser” tag suited be the best….

If you were thinking these were the only ones whom I used 2 b loved by……..naaaaaaaaa……..i was like the casanova in my area ….even the aunties couldn’t resist me ……they were worse than these brainless barbies to tell you…used 2 irritate me with their non-sense stuff…and wud think dat inventing a new recipe was like discovering an Indus valley civilization painting n worse,they felt that they shoud have got an noble prize for that,but all they got was kiss from me(they used 2 force me to do so..)…worse was they wanted me to kiss dem every nanosecond!!!!!!!


You guys must be thinking I must be an ass for whining….coz only few god blessed ones would hav such a rocking fate….you must be saying to urself ”
he is one lucky ASS…..wht more one could wish for in his life.being loved by these many girls..whoa!!!”


Yea dude I agree there is nothing more I could or would wish for-except
WHY WAS I WEARING HUGGIES DURING DOSE DAYS….N WORSE WAS MY MUM USED TO CHANGE MY DIAPERS INFRONT OF MY GURLS….SICK MANN…



Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Girls-Mysterious as ever




Girls-where do i start and how do i start? Indeed it is tough to decipher their thoughts.They must be the only species on planet earth who could push you to the extremes, happy and sad; as said"a tear n a smile from a girl's face is dangerous than a N-BOMB 'coz they can force u 2 do anything-literally ANYTHING"

Surely girls have come a long way from being labelled "worthless" to being labelled "SURELY WORTHY" but still why are they so confused with themselves.No matter how stupid they sound when they want to know "when was the 1st time u gave her a lolli and what flavor was it" there is still something in them which gets you all excited and on your toes.

On the first sight they seem to be simple, But it is not long before you realize that they complex than the most complex Engineering Mechanics problem and yet they blame us for not understanding them.

They are always successful in irritating you to the core yet, one wild request from them and you go searching all over the world trying to fulfill it and see that million $ smile on that billion dollar face.

If you kiss her, you are not a gentleman.If you don't, you are not a man.

If you praise her, she thinks you are lying.If you don't, you are good for nothing.

If you visit her often, she thinks it is boring.If you don't, she accuses you of double-crossing.

If you are well dressed, she says you are a playboy.If you don't, you are a dull boy.

If you are jealous, she says it's bad.If you don't, she thinks you do not love her.

If you attempt a romance, she says you didn't respect her.If you don't, she thinks you do not like her.

If you are a minute late, she complains it's hard to wait.If she is late, she says that's a girl's way.

If you visit another man, you're not putting in "quality time".If she is visited by another woman, "oh it's natural, we are girls".

Whatever is the case, I have reached the end of this post and i realized that you don't need a girl to go crazy, the mere discussion does it.

-Ankit